Just finished reading Anderson Cooper's coup de grace Dispatches from The Edge. It spoke about desolation in the midst of much devastation and sorrow and how sadness can be a storm inside and outside...
It's a good read and I highly recommend it. It is far from P.J. o'Rourkes "Holidays In Hell" (Of which the Philippines was also featured) twisted sense of humour and irony but Anderson's book gave a 360degree overview of his world. (Sign that the Philippines is in serious schnitt : Christiane Amanpour or Anderson Cooper setting up camp in Manila. Once this happens, I am outta here.)
Also reading " Under the Tuscan Sun" which is a both ebullient and luminous. I'd like to spend a holiday there. Or two. Or forever. Away from the madding crowd, vino in picturesque villas, bitter olives falling from trees and all that.
The Woman In White is pending in my MRT to-read list. That's the nice thing about long commutes, given that you are not seated next to a drunken buffoon or random babbling old lady. The world is erased into a forgotten blur as you fully immerse yourself in the latest book to catch your fancy. As good as reading a shallow but amusing tome by the beach without that unreachable itch in your throat sense of urgency.
I am bit beat from the pressures that my current life has piled on my slightly empty head. Work has encompassed all aspects now. I just have to remember that work and being the best version (or at least closest approximation) of yourself is one of way of giving back.
Lessons learned from the past fortnight:
1. Drop people when they have ceased to be real. If they cannot figure it out after you have told them, they are not worth your time.
2. Read books not because they are popular but because they have that indefinable spark.
3. Patience is more than a virtue. It is an exercise on tenacity.
4. Bus preachers will exist forever. Stop praying that they will cease to exist.
and 5. Take pleasure in the small things.
Luci, wipe that smirk of your face. I can hear your mind working.
To listen :
1. Once Soundtrack
2. Hum by The Sheila Divine
3. The Holiday Soundtrack
4. Can't Love, Can't Hurt by Augustana.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Great BF Review / Once
Yes, I am a judgmental schmuck who does believe in fair play and is often facetious on the onset. To paraphrase Luci, I have no idea when to pull the brakes.
Yes, I am a judgmental schmuck who pour insults like shampoo and is too self aware of my faults to really care about what other people say.
Yes, I am a judgmental schmuck who may have a ton of insecurities but does not let that get in the way of a great below the belt jest.
And Yes, your boyfriend has the personality of dying yeast, soggy chalk and overcooked oatmeal.
Okay, so I know that there might be a chance that you are going to read this --- and that this entry might just dampen our already endangered friendship but the thing there is that I really think you are selling yourself short with this guy.
Now, I did learn something from college (besides how to create a rudimentary bong with a plastic bottle, a cheap pen case and a small piece of tinfoil) that lesson was never, ever meddle in the lives of your friends. I lost somebody I cared for that way and the lesson somehow (and I use this loosely) stuck.
So this is what I think about your new boy. Consider this as an unsolicited review. Pretty much when you are offering me unsolicited homoepathic cures (out of affection I am sure) and invitations to a variety of non-scientific/academic conferences.
***** - 5 being the highest
Personality - **
- Metaphors used : (besides the ones mentioned earlier)
- lacks texture.
- blank.
- Watching grass grow may prove to be more interesting as at least we get to wonder about the miracle of nature.
- Frozen asphalt has more character.
Appeal **
- ?!
- Was he really there?!
Overall : **
in summary : EPIC FAIL.
I am hoping that this guy has a lot of redeeming qualities and that we were just being exhausted jerk-wads who have no better use for our time than to shred somebody to pieces for the fun of it --- or maybe we are just too jaded and too overexposed to dynamic people hence other people appear to lack luster.
I gave the guy points for his nonchalance over what we thought. Points to him for not caring over the fact that we think he's wasting your time.
Now while we're on the confession thread, let me tell you why I am still pissed over you not showing up at the dinner invite.
Point 1. I rarely invite anybody for a meal even if my culinary skills are above average. Nope. Never have I offered to cook for anybody.
Point 2. You have nagged me time and time again to invite you to my house. When I finally did (complete with bells and whistles) you claim that you did some fantastical cosmic exercise that drained you of your energy.
'Scuse me. But didn't we use to work 15 hours straight taking calls from that idiot company? And managed to go out after?
HELP. ME. UNDERSTAND. HOW. THE. F. DID. THAT. WORK. OUT.
Okay, shallow griping over.
Man, your quasi-ex (whose name begins with a 'b') really bent and screwed you over huh?
Once is Not Enough
I bought a copy of the soundtrack of Once and I must say, I completely fell in love with the songs.
Listening to the CD is akin to rubbing your skin raw with rock salt and jumping into a vat of lemon juice.
It just hurts....so good.
..."I don't know you
but I want you
all the more for that
words fall through me
and always fool me
and I can't react
and games that never amount
to more than they're meant
will play themselves out
- Falling Slowly , Glen Hansard
Worth more than a thousand listens.
Yes, I am a judgmental schmuck who pour insults like shampoo and is too self aware of my faults to really care about what other people say.
Yes, I am a judgmental schmuck who may have a ton of insecurities but does not let that get in the way of a great below the belt jest.
And Yes, your boyfriend has the personality of dying yeast, soggy chalk and overcooked oatmeal.
Okay, so I know that there might be a chance that you are going to read this --- and that this entry might just dampen our already endangered friendship but the thing there is that I really think you are selling yourself short with this guy.
Now, I did learn something from college (besides how to create a rudimentary bong with a plastic bottle, a cheap pen case and a small piece of tinfoil) that lesson was never, ever meddle in the lives of your friends. I lost somebody I cared for that way and the lesson somehow (and I use this loosely) stuck.
So this is what I think about your new boy. Consider this as an unsolicited review. Pretty much when you are offering me unsolicited homoepathic cures (out of affection I am sure) and invitations to a variety of non-scientific/academic conferences.
***** - 5 being the highest
Personality - **
- Metaphors used : (besides the ones mentioned earlier)
- lacks texture.
- blank.
- Watching grass grow may prove to be more interesting as at least we get to wonder about the miracle of nature.
- Frozen asphalt has more character.
Appeal **
- ?!
- Was he really there?!
Overall : **
in summary : EPIC FAIL.
I am hoping that this guy has a lot of redeeming qualities and that we were just being exhausted jerk-wads who have no better use for our time than to shred somebody to pieces for the fun of it --- or maybe we are just too jaded and too overexposed to dynamic people hence other people appear to lack luster.
I gave the guy points for his nonchalance over what we thought. Points to him for not caring over the fact that we think he's wasting your time.
Now while we're on the confession thread, let me tell you why I am still pissed over you not showing up at the dinner invite.
Point 1. I rarely invite anybody for a meal even if my culinary skills are above average. Nope. Never have I offered to cook for anybody.
Point 2. You have nagged me time and time again to invite you to my house. When I finally did (complete with bells and whistles) you claim that you did some fantastical cosmic exercise that drained you of your energy.
'Scuse me. But didn't we use to work 15 hours straight taking calls from that idiot company? And managed to go out after?
HELP. ME. UNDERSTAND. HOW. THE. F. DID. THAT. WORK. OUT.
Okay, shallow griping over.
Man, your quasi-ex (whose name begins with a 'b') really bent and screwed you over huh?
Once is Not Enough
I bought a copy of the soundtrack of Once and I must say, I completely fell in love with the songs.
Listening to the CD is akin to rubbing your skin raw with rock salt and jumping into a vat of lemon juice.
It just hurts....so good.
..."I don't know you
but I want you
all the more for that
words fall through me
and always fool me
and I can't react
and games that never amount
to more than they're meant
will play themselves out
- Falling Slowly , Glen Hansard
Worth more than a thousand listens.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Snow-Flaked
Today is Snow's birthday.
I cannot remember anymore how old she is or why we have stopped talking.
I turned into an outright, barely stifled snob and she decided to live her life the best way she can.
Sometimes, I think she got the better part of the deal.
Sometimes, I like thinking that I am better than her.
Any way we look at it, we both became whom we did not plan to become.
Which is not a bad deal when you think about it --- most of the population are caricatures of whom they intended to be --- so take comfort in the fact that even if it didn't happen (f*ing deep six that white picket fences bullsh*t) something still happened.
So Snow, hang on in there and continue glowing in the dark. I am hoping that eventhough your bar is located in a seriously remote area of your province, I am still hoping that it becomes a success on its own merit. We cannot undo what happened 6 odd years ago, neither can we go back to who we were --- I think those strangers had no idea that we are going to be who were are right now --- but at least they lived. Drugs, alcohol and stupid, advantage taking parties included.
And even when you veered off from my life and you are now (at least you appear to be) having a ball, am happy that at some in point time, I knew who you are.
Happy birthday and try to take your meds on time.
Laaters Snow.
I cannot remember anymore how old she is or why we have stopped talking.
I turned into an outright, barely stifled snob and she decided to live her life the best way she can.
Sometimes, I think she got the better part of the deal.
Sometimes, I like thinking that I am better than her.
Any way we look at it, we both became whom we did not plan to become.
Which is not a bad deal when you think about it --- most of the population are caricatures of whom they intended to be --- so take comfort in the fact that even if it didn't happen (f*ing deep six that white picket fences bullsh*t) something still happened.
So Snow, hang on in there and continue glowing in the dark. I am hoping that eventhough your bar is located in a seriously remote area of your province, I am still hoping that it becomes a success on its own merit. We cannot undo what happened 6 odd years ago, neither can we go back to who we were --- I think those strangers had no idea that we are going to be who were are right now --- but at least they lived. Drugs, alcohol and stupid, advantage taking parties included.
And even when you veered off from my life and you are now (at least you appear to be) having a ball, am happy that at some in point time, I knew who you are.
Happy birthday and try to take your meds on time.
Laaters Snow.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Quantumed
Saw Quantum of Solace past Sunday. Kevs and I were having this text debate about Daniel Craig. Kevs can't stand the blond bond whilst the image of him emerging from the ocean is permanently tattooed in my semi-alzheimer state mind.
Enjoyed the flick. Looking forward to watching Twilight though I am a bit concerned about all the hype/buzz that it's been generating (ew.com has a freaking devoted page to the movie). It might just turn out to be another reincarnation of a Life Less Ordinary (anybody remember this movie?) which turned out to be a Life Mostly Sucky. I was wishing, no hoping, nay, utterly desirous that the latter be a massive hit but it barely made an impact in the stratosphere except display the fact that Ewan Mcgregor a.) managed to combine acting like a hapless idiot and still look adorable and b.) being blonde can only take you so far. Acting chops are required to be considered as an actor and not be dismissed as just another pretty face. (Begins with a "c" and ends with an "ameron" --- [But Avid! She has seen Justin's Timberlakes!] heh.)
Re-reading The Time Travellers Wife by Niffelenger. It's a lovely read though I would recommend that this should be read once you are over that indefinable stage that closely resembles the gray gel-like flotsam and jetsam of loneliness and longing.
Because it is mostly about longing for something that you already have. And that has claimed itself to be yours.
Am planning to hit Ho Chi Minh in 2009. Of course I don't know anybody there. That's the point of jumping into an adventure right? To lose your current identity to find a new one. I'd hate to quibble about finding yourself ( 30 years and you're still lost?!) but sometimes, you just really have to get lost and explore outer space.
If not Ho Chi Minh (and it's glorious French-Asian fusion street food --- though I hate the word "fusion" in relation to food with a passion) then I am hoping that I end up in Indonesia.
Definitely not in Singapore. Maybe HK. But that would be pushing it.
But hey, given the opportunity to see Justin's Timberlakes, I'd gladly go to Timbuktu.
Enjoyed the flick. Looking forward to watching Twilight though I am a bit concerned about all the hype/buzz that it's been generating (ew.com has a freaking devoted page to the movie). It might just turn out to be another reincarnation of a Life Less Ordinary (anybody remember this movie?) which turned out to be a Life Mostly Sucky. I was wishing, no hoping, nay, utterly desirous that the latter be a massive hit but it barely made an impact in the stratosphere except display the fact that Ewan Mcgregor a.) managed to combine acting like a hapless idiot and still look adorable and b.) being blonde can only take you so far. Acting chops are required to be considered as an actor and not be dismissed as just another pretty face. (Begins with a "c" and ends with an "ameron" --- [But Avid! She has seen Justin's Timberlakes!] heh.)
Re-reading The Time Travellers Wife by Niffelenger. It's a lovely read though I would recommend that this should be read once you are over that indefinable stage that closely resembles the gray gel-like flotsam and jetsam of loneliness and longing.
Because it is mostly about longing for something that you already have. And that has claimed itself to be yours.
Am planning to hit Ho Chi Minh in 2009. Of course I don't know anybody there. That's the point of jumping into an adventure right? To lose your current identity to find a new one. I'd hate to quibble about finding yourself ( 30 years and you're still lost?!) but sometimes, you just really have to get lost and explore outer space.
If not Ho Chi Minh (and it's glorious French-Asian fusion street food --- though I hate the word "fusion" in relation to food with a passion) then I am hoping that I end up in Indonesia.
Definitely not in Singapore. Maybe HK. But that would be pushing it.
But hey, given the opportunity to see Justin's Timberlakes, I'd gladly go to Timbuktu.
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