I never really understood the line " a part of me died" or "my world came crashing down" - how is this even possible when we can still breathe, when we can still move and eat, and love, get aroused and desire objects and people. How can a part of us die when we are in essence, still functioning?
My father died two weeks ago and it's only now that I am beginning to understand that death transcends grief. That a person can still laugh and yet be two inches away from crying.
Some day, I'll write about how glad I am.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Today I understood two things.
1. When you love somebody, you just understand. Even with all your bias and occasional hurt, you understand.
2. I am tired of understanding.
This evening, a friend and I had a casual convo about this person being in a relationship all the time
Me: He's never single - I think the longest time he was single was like 9 months after the psycho ex.
Him : Really? That's a long time. I'm hardly single. How about you? Don't you feel alone?
Me: Me? Good god no, I am comfortable with myself. I don't need another person to validate me.
1. When you love somebody, you just understand. Even with all your bias and occasional hurt, you understand.
2. I am tired of understanding.
This evening, a friend and I had a casual convo about this person being in a relationship all the time
Me: He's never single - I think the longest time he was single was like 9 months after the psycho ex.
Him : Really? That's a long time. I'm hardly single. How about you? Don't you feel alone?
Me: Me? Good god no, I am comfortable with myself. I don't need another person to validate me.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Accidentally found some quiet time when I read the invite as 1430 instead of 1530 - damn military time - when I got to the venue the place was deserted and I had no recourse but to go to the next door gas station.
Hovered by the magazine section, wondering whether the paps get their news - Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are finally tying the knot since the former is pregnant with twins as well --- erm....
National Geographic had a spread about the King James Bible which made me shudder the same way anything religious does - but it was objective and took some 15 minutes to read so that was good.
"Borrowing" a copy of the Discovery Channel Magazine and having bought some coffee frappe, I espied a newly vacated table and claimed it as my own - I sat down and was about to grab my ipod when I realized something - this is nice. A random gas station with a coffee shop,a magazine and nothing that smacks of being online.
Quiet time far, far, far away from the madding crowd. Where nobody knows my name.
Just, quiet with the chatter of the sales clerks in the background and the distant buzz of passing traffic.
I haven't had one of those moments when my thoughts are crowded and frenzied.
It's Nice. With a capital N.
Hovered by the magazine section, wondering whether the paps get their news - Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are finally tying the knot since the former is pregnant with twins as well --- erm....
National Geographic had a spread about the King James Bible which made me shudder the same way anything religious does - but it was objective and took some 15 minutes to read so that was good.
"Borrowing" a copy of the Discovery Channel Magazine and having bought some coffee frappe, I espied a newly vacated table and claimed it as my own - I sat down and was about to grab my ipod when I realized something - this is nice. A random gas station with a coffee shop,a magazine and nothing that smacks of being online.
Quiet time far, far, far away from the madding crowd. Where nobody knows my name.
Just, quiet with the chatter of the sales clerks in the background and the distant buzz of passing traffic.
I haven't had one of those moments when my thoughts are crowded and frenzied.
It's Nice. With a capital N.
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