Argh.

When you left you took with you a piece of me and a year later, it's still the same.

---

gathering my requirements for that blasted chinese visa is giving me a headache.

Madly, madly, madly.

I'm currently on the road, a bottle of Tiger energy drink on my left hand. It's akin to slow siphoning in a thousand calories into my already over fed carcass. On a normal scale, 3 cups of vendo coffee would have sufficed. But I need a sharper manic edge, hence the drink.

Sip.

I'm sure that working on Sunday has it's points. I'll let you know when I see it.

Broke up with AME. I'm my own little liar and lies, even by ommission are intolerable. I said goodbye. He said no. I said hell yes.

We're friends now.

I know who I'm thinking of still.

Commute

Listening to the Jennifer's Body ost and the save me san francisco album of Train whilst in the commute. The two albums are surprisingly good with the latter being incredibly sweet without being sickening.

I'm tired of being surrounded by people who wake up as tight supernova blackholes. They wish to suck the rest of humanity into their vacuum of non humorous darkness.

Had my passport renewed. Means making another personal appearance at the bloody DFA. If only I don't need it right by January.

Been spending an extraordinary time on my mobile internet. Reeks of boredom.

Oh. Eww. Some cheapo school is imitating sosy ex college's uniform. Eww.

Might be in china by 2010 for a month. If I don't make it, it's all good. At least i'll have the chance to leave the world's local bank or look for another post. Maybe this time in operations.

Trip almost over. Laters.

Sort of Overload

Sight :

An Episode about Japan on Discovery Channel
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com
http://www.aibento.net
http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Touch :
None.

Hearing :
Ipod playing the following bands/artists
Ode To a Beautiful Nude
Break the Ice by Britney Spears
Mental Picture by Jon Secada
A New Tattoo by Urbandub
The Whole Album of Little Boots

Taste :

The new grilled shrimp flavour of Pringles. Holy snap! It is Pink!

Feelings are so useless. I wish I could sleep though.

Must've been too hasty but I know I did the right thing.

Hence the reason I am the one left behind.

Do we really need that remix?

Just saw the remix version of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Relax". Though the initial reaction was some applause from this side --- applause because of the band's audacity to re-mix what was considered a controversial song back in the 80's and some laughter at how typical the video is. Skinny models + homo-ambigious looking boys + flashing lights + barely subtle sexual devices = Typical. It's so J.Lo that I am thinking that give or take a week, this would be considered a hit in the ringtone biz.

Relax. Don't do it.

Even if Frankie just did.

....

Been living in seclusion for the past few days. The only "window" I have to the outside world is the TV (Yay, Discovery Travel and Living free for the rest of the week, courtesy of SkyCrappyCable --- why I'm sticking with this cable service, I don't know. I am missing a lot of good TV here. But then again, What is the Lifestyle Channel?) and the internet.

Sites browsed within the past 30 minutes :
Facebook (Vampire Wars anyone?)
Yahoo
Time.com
CNN
Perez Hilton
JessicaRulesTheUniverse
People.com
EOnline

Cigarettes smoked : 3

Milk Tea packets consumed : 2

Parents antagonized : 1

And a partridge in a pear tree.

Oh look, it's the pretty boys trying to be a band : Hanson!

Don't curse but I liked Penny and Me.

Found : Virgin Blue by Tracy Chevalier for 115.00
The Laws of Love by Laura Esquivel for 125.00 (Hardbound)

Finally completed my Tracy Chevalier collection.

Collections that I have completed :
1. Harry Potter 1-7
2. The Nightwatch series by Sergie Lukyanenko
3. Tracy Chevalier
4. Twilight series

Collections that I am waiting to complete
1. Terry Pratchett
2. Jasper Fforde (Though I have all of his Thursday Next books and Nursery Crime)
3. Gabriel Garcia Marquez
4. Stephen King's Dark Tower series
5. Ann Patchett
6. Ariana Franklin's Mistress of Death series

I have to visit Fully Booked some day.

I had lost all of my belief you see? / and realize my mistakes - Love's Divine by Seal

Stuck

Last Friday I deleted V's name on my people list.

When I told him that I am seeing someone in a way, he stopped talking to me.

I don't know whether there is a correlation between the two events but I would like to fancy that he is jealous of the fact that I met someone who I was not set up with. Or that he is jealous because we had a shot and we couldn't do anything. Or that he was mutually attracted but better sense prevailed and he stayed away.

Or maybe because well, he's just really busy.

I want to say that it doesn't matter but it does. It really does. A day has hardly passed by that I haven't thought of him. In one way or another.

And it's pathetic.

And it's downright silly.

And it's so me.

My email has automatically archived my saved messages from him. And I can't find it anymore.

Another sign right? Right?

Right.

Moving on...

Social Experiment has begun scaring me in a way. He has fantasies that I have no way of fulfilling. I think I already know why he is still unmarried. But why do I persist on playing with this person?

Because I have to see how this story will end.

I might end up a cadaver thrown in the river. I might end up a traumatized person with a gazillion std's. I mind end up the victim of a gangbang. I might end up the wife of an officer with a short shelf life.

But bottom line is, I will not end up wondering.

I am giving myself until the end of this year to pursue this. I am already compiling my "in the event of my ruinous end" packet which will be distributed to a couple of people.

Overly dramatic? Yes. Of course.

Con't

Selected a bar that was playing some pre-spiritual healing alanis. A glass of mindoro sling will set me back 190p. Am on holiday so why not?

A mindoro sling has cheap rum, mango juice, fruit and a splash of some anonymous alcohol.

Life should be like this - colourful, drunk deep with a cig on the side.

Intoxicating too.