I just read what I posted and I realized that instead of an upward climb, I am wholly flippant on print.

I have random thoughts. I have decided some time ago that life is too weird to obsess over things that might not happen - my days are mostly funny because of the people around me ( i.e. converting my team into baklese speaking heteros) and because of the long hours spent at work ( coming home on time is treat though I love the overtime pay)

I fear growing old and alone. That's a secret but not anymore because I've broadcasted it.

I think about how people perceive me - so I try my damnest to be better than most. I am not that intelligent but I manage.

I wish I am more vain in terms of looks but I am not though I am a big fan of facial creams that whiten. I don't want to be a dark skinned fatty. Not that it's bad but my mom always reminds me that "at least you are fair skinned"

It takes me long to start working on something. I am a master procastinator but I am finding a way to cure that.

I bought a rowing machine that I've used once - and I intend to start rowing. I miss the dull ache on my muscles. I did play sports before.

I think that being fat is a hindrance to finding a man. And since I judge myself harshly it means that I won't find a man until I accept myself. Fat chance. Haha.

I like being useful. It gives me worth.

My mastery of English makes me feel above others. Haha. Not really. Other people know shit that I can't even fathom. My local language skills are improving though.

I think frequently about migrating to Australia but I don't think I have the gumption. And I don't want to work in factory.

Oh well.