I've been distraught the past few months. More because somebody got away and I have been overanalyzing and listening to soul sucking heartbreak music.

It's a numbing pain akin to novocaine wearing off after a nasty time at the dentist's. The vestiges of pain are right by the edges of consciousness and you have no choice but to continue breathing.

Five more days and I am still holding on.

I wish I could sleep uninterrupted again. It's been like this since February.

I remember you with the ochre lights during your last night when I walked you back to your hotel. I remember your fascination with battle tanks and nationality. I remember your denseness at the joke about ABBA and the Swedish efforts to conquer the world.

I remember you heartfelt wish for me to find somebody else.

I remember the fact that you don't carry any scent. When you told me that I need to work on my pranking skills and when I had to fight off the urge to keep on standing by your station.

And when you stood by my station more than a thousand hours ago.

I remember when we stood in the middle of the water arguing about the complexities between men and women. When I blurted out a hurt feeling and you asked me if I am ok now.

Most of all, I remember your voice.

Congratulations on your wedding and I wish you all the best in this messy planet.