I dislike easy targets. I like them difficult, on a pedestal and smarter than me. Makes them harder to stump.

It is called a counter-delusional behaviour where in you assume that you are smarter, faster, wittier --- except that you know you're not. So the next step is to just carry that faux cockiness, smirk and throw the silent one finger salute.

Didn't get the post at easy A. In retrospect, I think they made the right decision in not getting me. Of course, my mother is in the "i don't understand why they didn't get you" phase. Ah yes, mothers. Even when I clearly said I think I made the right move, she still couldn't get over it.

Mother, get over it. I did.

Lesson learned, do not apply with the wrong motivating factors. Sending the blasted resume was done in haste. Over the apparent lack of attention and work from my manager. That was before I started appreciating 9 hour shifts. What me extend? Are you fucking daft?!

No responsibilities, blind adoration and all that.

Can't wait for the next episode.

Oleg Oleinikov

Stumbled on this artist at http://www.englishrussia.com --- a pretty decent website about Russia that just made me forget about Glasnost, the KGB and all that.

http://www.artistsandart.org/2009/08/igor-oleynikov-russian-illustrator.html

Unfortunately, every time I try to upload a sample of his work here, all I can see are html scripts.

Check out the site.

Come on

Randomized song list :

1. Fear - Lily Allen
2. Half of My Heart - John Mayer
3. That Time of The Year - Sick Puppies
4. Behind the Sun Album - Chicane
5. #40 - Dave Matthews Band

IN my head am drafting my resignation letter. In my box is a response from V. I kidded one that it's rather pointless sending him emails as he hardly responses. He said Hi back and instead of the pleasurable rush of the inner giggles, all I got was a smile.

Next to his email is Job Description. That's what you get when your manager thinks that everything is hunky dory.

I wish that I could revert back to the same thought that hey, if I get the post or any post, it will be a win win situation - If I get it, hurrah, I will get a drink. If I don't get it, hurrah, I will get a drink.

Alas, am trying to give my liver a reprieve. It was seriously traumatized from the last party.

My world is shrinking and it's time to fight back.

I know my boss doesn't like me because I could hardly disguise my disdain. That and because apparently, sarcasm doesn't go down well.

Good thing is that in a roundabout way, I still respect the person. She is smart.

I am not used to be disliked --- but I think that the time to decide is fast approaching.

I guess it's time to brace and prepare myself.

To be succinct about the entire deal, I don't really fucking care.

Sometimes I think I do then I squish the thought quickly.

I feel pretty fortunate to have a girl friend with a more active sex life than most people I know. On average, K sleeps with 3-4 men a week. His lusty appetites possibly stem from the fact that in his past life (and this is a sample pillow talk) he was supposedly an ascetic monk. I told him that him being an ascetic monk in his past life does explain a lot. He has this desire to bone (and be boned) by all men. As long as they have nice skin and blinding white teeth.

Letters to Juliet...oh please.

Am looking at possible housing loans with Pag Ibig and bottom line is...I can't afford the amortization.

Damned it.

Me : " I was thinking that fat girls don't get into relationships but since when did that matter? If we are all created equal, then why am I not in a relationship now?"

K : " Do you want to be in a relationship?"

Me: "Oh. You have to want it? I am not sure."

K : " You're ambivalent...that means no."

Me " er...."

Ah yes.Girl friends.

Lemme download some more Kylie Minogue.

Sporadic

Hee.

It's been more than a month since I bothered to update this blog -- for some time I actually forgot that I HAVE a blog. I blame Facebook. Haha.

Been back from China for almost a month now. It doesn't feel that I ever left at all.

It's all moving too fast. And some times I feel like I got burned big time.

Why? I don't know. It just feels right saying it.

Burned. Damnit.

Can't Support

Went to China and returned to a house that is still half painted. I have half a mind to continue the repainting process except that I am a lazy bastard and I'd rather read.

Bought the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series whilst in GZ

Also took immense walks.

When you leave the country even for a month or a lifetime, it just changes your perspective.

Whatever that is.

The inferno called elections is upon us and I do not have enough words to state how much I loathe politics. Ugh.

Tomorrow is another Monday. How long will I keep on dreading Monday? My theory is that even if are weekends are three days and the week officially starts on a Tuesday, my bet is that the populace will at first relish the thought of a three day weekend --- however, once the novelty has worn off, Tuesday will become the new Monday. And the workplace, we ungrateful bastards will once more start keening and wailing at the impending beginning of the work week.

Ungrateful because we kinda forget that we're just lucky that we have jobs. I know it's just downright preachy but I don't care. When people ask me why i am still at the world's local bank after almost five years, this is my standard response --- hey, it's a job.

Went to a family gathering earlier --- started off bored but ended the night amused. My mother's aunts side is comprised of people who has made something about their lives. Majority of my family ( and I say "my" because of technicalities only) are right by the deep end of the crazy pool. Sometimes I think it's just a matter of time until I slit my wrists. That or I kill one of them.

This out of sorts feeling has been lingering for a long time now. Thoughts floating through my head right now involve phrases like " Familiarity breeds contempt" "No, you're not a bitch, just a needy little person who lacks experience with the world" "drip and dry, drip and dry". Restlessness has pervaded this room and it needs to be stifled.

Whats the point of liking someone when I can't be a viable part of their world?

Back Home 2

It's great to be back home --- I will never complain about the heat again.

I wish I could say the same about being back at work. It is true. Familiarity does breed contempt.

Back Home

Shopped a storm at GZ. Bought book whilst there too even if the English books are abnormally expensive. I will not take BookSale for granted anymore.

Got the ff:
The Historian - Spooky ghost story about Vlad the Impaler being alive during there modern times.

Vampire Academy - Bought this in NAIA whilst waiting for my flight. It's a teenager book that doesn't require brain cells to understand.

Philippa Gregory's The Queen's Fool and The Virgin's Lover - Medieval bodice rippers disguised as historical novels. It was a double bill in one tome.

Six Suspects - By the same guy who wrote Q&A (aka Slumdog Millionaire) Wonderful book.

Will write more once I have uploaded the rest of my China pictures.