Digging and Sorting

Spent a good couple of hours going through my closet.

I found myself lost in multi-coloured tank tops, skirts with damaged zippers and a ton of miscellaneous clothing that I had to stop and wonder : Where the fuck did these come from?!

Arranged everything by colour, decided to refurbish a damaged denim skirt (it has a hole in a place where it's not cool to have a hole on) with a batik dress that had it's garter all stretched out, found a khaki skirt that might prove useful next week once the zippers been changed and resurrected a cowl necked blouse that i've never bothered to use. Typical.

Next week, shoes! I have a ton under my bed and fortunately they haven't escaped yet.

Found a dvd of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas --- oh well. Don't fuck with me right now man, I'm ahab!

You knrr, it takes gumption to say "I don't know" .

I'm riding the tidal wave of selective nostalgia right now. A few months ago when Rei was in Manila I had dinner with her and two other friends from college. Good god, college. I could barely remember college.

Outside : Oh golly! College! Kumbayah territory! OMG! What?! Go to Mass?! Again?!
Inside : I want to excel! I want to excel! I want to excel!
Outside : Party did you say?
Inside : I CAN wing it because I am sharper than a rapier... and lazier than a toad of valium.
Inside + Outside (Finally agreeing) = Fuck THAT. I want to work.

Exuent, stage left.

Past week I had a sort of reunion with some high school mates. I can't even say the word friends for the very reason that we haven't seen each other and my definition of friendship has matured beyond someone I shared a toke with. We were mostly strangers and slightly familiar and looking at them, I had to think...

What the heck did I do in high school?

I heard that it's supposed to be the best time in your life.

I think that the best period in your life is well, having a life regardless.

Tempt-ing

1. Career shifts can cause doubt.

I have been in the new company for the past almost six months and I am still at a point that I would have clear flashbacks of my former life.

Which just tells me several things:

1a. A part of me is still wallowing in regret over the stable, quiet , predictable life that I just threw away.
1b. I miss the blind adoration that comes along with being in a room full of people whose passing or failing depends on how well you teach.
1c. I have too much idle time in my hands hence the reason that my mind keeps on wandering around.

Went to a sort of high school reunion and I was shocked with how much things have changed. Some people's identities are rocks in my head wherein the smug satisfaction that I have been carrying around is just pointless. What do I have to be smug about? My life is not as peachy as I want it to be.

They are married (not a goal), with great jobs ( a sort of goal) and fabulous shoes (a dream not for the ent footed)

Who are these strangers?!

2. I have to stop sending my resume and not show up. That's just bad manners.

3. Listening to Adele's 21. It defies awesome.

4. Downloading Nicole Scherzingers Don't Hold Your Breathe and Jennifer Lopez's On The Floor. Torrent can't find J.Lo. Instead it will spout Spartacus, Airline Management and the like.

5. Watched an episode of this silly reality art competition. Some showed intense talent. The rest are just plain pretentious. Seriously? Performance art?

6. Nevermind, I'll find someone like you - Adele, Someone Like You.

7. Loving Auntie Janey's old fashioned Agony Column. Had a great laugh at the latest entry.

8. I find a mystifying sense of urgency at work --- finish the crap now so I can goof off immediately at StumbleUpon.

9. Imagining the floating hotel in Kerala. I still have the image of a blue room and white sheets.

10. Turning tables.