It's the same as the story capturing the attention more than the moment happening.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Currently listening to Stars , Part time heroes and Michael Franks - all from the wonderful Pao who gave me a whole stash of music to sample after I asked him who was doing the singing from his laptop a couple of weeks ago.
I like it when people recommend music, books and movies and not random homeopathic cures - I hate being told how to fix a cold or a rash with vinegar and honey. I am a strong believer in science and drug stores thank you very much.
Had some chai latte earlier - don't be fooled by the fancy name, it's just some sweet condensed milk in hot water and powdered chai - local salabat is better but oh well. better than milo.
It's a Saturday night at home -- earlier I woke up from a marathon nap with an "is this all there is to it?"
It's the lack of money. Plus Breaking Dawn is showing so I am avoiding all local cinemas. I might break into hives from all the teenyboppers roaming the hallways.
I like it when people recommend music, books and movies and not random homeopathic cures - I hate being told how to fix a cold or a rash with vinegar and honey. I am a strong believer in science and drug stores thank you very much.
Had some chai latte earlier - don't be fooled by the fancy name, it's just some sweet condensed milk in hot water and powdered chai - local salabat is better but oh well. better than milo.
It's a Saturday night at home -- earlier I woke up from a marathon nap with an "is this all there is to it?"
It's the lack of money. Plus Breaking Dawn is showing so I am avoiding all local cinemas. I might break into hives from all the teenyboppers roaming the hallways.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
I just read what I posted and I realized that instead of an upward climb, I am wholly flippant on print.
I have random thoughts. I have decided some time ago that life is too weird to obsess over things that might not happen - my days are mostly funny because of the people around me ( i.e. converting my team into baklese speaking heteros) and because of the long hours spent at work ( coming home on time is treat though I love the overtime pay)
I fear growing old and alone. That's a secret but not anymore because I've broadcasted it.
I think about how people perceive me - so I try my damnest to be better than most. I am not that intelligent but I manage.
I wish I am more vain in terms of looks but I am not though I am a big fan of facial creams that whiten. I don't want to be a dark skinned fatty. Not that it's bad but my mom always reminds me that "at least you are fair skinned"
It takes me long to start working on something. I am a master procastinator but I am finding a way to cure that.
I bought a rowing machine that I've used once - and I intend to start rowing. I miss the dull ache on my muscles. I did play sports before.
I think that being fat is a hindrance to finding a man. And since I judge myself harshly it means that I won't find a man until I accept myself. Fat chance. Haha.
I like being useful. It gives me worth.
My mastery of English makes me feel above others. Haha. Not really. Other people know shit that I can't even fathom. My local language skills are improving though.
I think frequently about migrating to Australia but I don't think I have the gumption. And I don't want to work in factory.
Oh well.
I have random thoughts. I have decided some time ago that life is too weird to obsess over things that might not happen - my days are mostly funny because of the people around me ( i.e. converting my team into baklese speaking heteros) and because of the long hours spent at work ( coming home on time is treat though I love the overtime pay)
I fear growing old and alone. That's a secret but not anymore because I've broadcasted it.
I think about how people perceive me - so I try my damnest to be better than most. I am not that intelligent but I manage.
I wish I am more vain in terms of looks but I am not though I am a big fan of facial creams that whiten. I don't want to be a dark skinned fatty. Not that it's bad but my mom always reminds me that "at least you are fair skinned"
It takes me long to start working on something. I am a master procastinator but I am finding a way to cure that.
I bought a rowing machine that I've used once - and I intend to start rowing. I miss the dull ache on my muscles. I did play sports before.
I think that being fat is a hindrance to finding a man. And since I judge myself harshly it means that I won't find a man until I accept myself. Fat chance. Haha.
I like being useful. It gives me worth.
My mastery of English makes me feel above others. Haha. Not really. Other people know shit that I can't even fathom. My local language skills are improving though.
I think frequently about migrating to Australia but I don't think I have the gumption. And I don't want to work in factory.
Oh well.
A Free Fall and Something
I like Michael Franks - listening to him is like eavesdropping to private conversation about a special memory that you sort of wish you own but would rather marvel at how marvelous that memory is --- it's private and public at the same time and though I find it tough humming his songs, when the trusty nano is playing the albums, I get lost.
A gent was generous to give me copies of his albums. Alternating it now with Powderfinger.
My Heart Said Wow
Michael Franks
I guess I never knew love
Could ever be true love
Life had left me gigantically
Anti-romantic
I was blue as Camus
And I never quite understood why
Love passed me by
Though it's true that this ditty
Begins in self-pity
I can promise the ending
Will be more ascending
Cause I've made some revisions
Since our sweet collision
And how
Just look at me now
I simply surrendered
The moment my heart said Wow
Though it's true that this ditty
Begins in self-pity
I can promise the ending
Will be more ascending
Cause I've made some revisions
Since our sweet collision
And how
Just look at me now
I simply surrendered
The moment my heart said Wow
Aren't we all looking for the Wow moment? Now i just need a wow back.
A gent was generous to give me copies of his albums. Alternating it now with Powderfinger.
My Heart Said Wow
Michael Franks
I guess I never knew love
Could ever be true love
Life had left me gigantically
Anti-romantic
I was blue as Camus
And I never quite understood why
Love passed me by
Though it's true that this ditty
Begins in self-pity
I can promise the ending
Will be more ascending
Cause I've made some revisions
Since our sweet collision
And how
Just look at me now
I simply surrendered
The moment my heart said Wow
Though it's true that this ditty
Begins in self-pity
I can promise the ending
Will be more ascending
Cause I've made some revisions
Since our sweet collision
And how
Just look at me now
I simply surrendered
The moment my heart said Wow
Aren't we all looking for the Wow moment? Now i just need a wow back.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
30 July 2011
I hate those periods of clarity when I am in between being awake and asleep - that is when the hard hitting truths emerge and I find myself agreeing.
- You fear that you are not really meant for that romantic bullshit. You can't even say the word "romance" without grimacing.
- He's really a horrible person but you're so blinded by your affection that you overlook how narrow-minded and insensitive that person is --- in fact, you move schedules around to accommodate the persons schedule and make sure they're included - but hey, guess what? you're not part of his picture. Fuck that, bitch. Since you can't be fucked, you're not included. haha. I'll probably regret saying this later but again, fuck that. That's how I think right now.
- I think that dumping a friend can be harsh but I really dislike pushovers. In fact, I abhor them to high heavens. Push overs are the martyrs of hell.
- You are one sad person.
- Spending the weekends by yourself is turning into a source of dread.
- Going back to work on Monday is making you dread Monday. A bit. Still manageable though.
- There are still pangs of regret over leaving former job. My rallying cry will always be fuck that. I had to leave or else I would go crazy or start hitting someone.
- My boss can be an idiot. She has no choice.
Listening Posts:
Currently listening to :
Powderfinger
- obsessing on the following tracks:
a. My Happyness
b. Like a Dog
c. Burn Your Name
Foster the People
Currently reading:
a. Animal Husbandry
b. Friends, Lovers, Chocolate
c. The Angle Quickest For Flight
d. Wit's End
- You fear that you are not really meant for that romantic bullshit. You can't even say the word "romance" without grimacing.
- He's really a horrible person but you're so blinded by your affection that you overlook how narrow-minded and insensitive that person is --- in fact, you move schedules around to accommodate the persons schedule and make sure they're included - but hey, guess what? you're not part of his picture. Fuck that, bitch. Since you can't be fucked, you're not included. haha. I'll probably regret saying this later but again, fuck that. That's how I think right now.
- I think that dumping a friend can be harsh but I really dislike pushovers. In fact, I abhor them to high heavens. Push overs are the martyrs of hell.
- You are one sad person.
- Spending the weekends by yourself is turning into a source of dread.
- Going back to work on Monday is making you dread Monday. A bit. Still manageable though.
- There are still pangs of regret over leaving former job. My rallying cry will always be fuck that. I had to leave or else I would go crazy or start hitting someone.
- My boss can be an idiot. She has no choice.
Listening Posts:
Currently listening to :
Powderfinger
- obsessing on the following tracks:
a. My Happyness
b. Like a Dog
c. Burn Your Name
Foster the People
Currently reading:
a. Animal Husbandry
b. Friends, Lovers, Chocolate
c. The Angle Quickest For Flight
d. Wit's End
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Riceboys
Circle I Limbo
Trixies
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind
General asshats
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow
Militant Vegans
Circle IV Rolling Weights
Republicans
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled
River Styx
Scientologists
Circle VI Buried for Eternity
River Phlegyas
NAMBLA Members
Circle VII Burning Sands
Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement
Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Her Morning Elegance
Currently listening to :
Oren Lavie - The Opposite Side of The Sea
Springing from the popularity of Her Morning Elegance's stop motion video, this album is the twisted soundtrack of your soothing aunt who often gives your cookies. You play this in the background and it would sound pleasant until you catch some of the lyrics :
Reach you hand out, someone'll take it, strip it down and leave you naked, that's what they do to strangers you see - Opposite Side of the Sea.
I like the strains of the cello and violins in this album.
Adele - 21
Adele previously stated that her album will mostly be about boys.
Some songs are akin to dragging your liver out with a rusty fork and serving it on a platinum platter whilst waiting for the pain to end.
Am still reeling over One and Only which just summed up every fool's unrequited fantasies. It's another boombox over the head kind of song.
There is a maturity to Adele's music that just sums up the human experience of longing --- it's a full album that sounds better at each listen. The full nuances and cadence of each line has a filling effect on those who wish that they are the ones holding the boomboxes and gets the girl/guy in the end.
All this without entering rom-com territory.
Oren Lavie - The Opposite Side of The Sea
Springing from the popularity of Her Morning Elegance's stop motion video, this album is the twisted soundtrack of your soothing aunt who often gives your cookies. You play this in the background and it would sound pleasant until you catch some of the lyrics :
Reach you hand out, someone'll take it, strip it down and leave you naked, that's what they do to strangers you see - Opposite Side of the Sea.
I like the strains of the cello and violins in this album.
Adele - 21
Adele previously stated that her album will mostly be about boys.
Some songs are akin to dragging your liver out with a rusty fork and serving it on a platinum platter whilst waiting for the pain to end.
Am still reeling over One and Only which just summed up every fool's unrequited fantasies. It's another boombox over the head kind of song.
There is a maturity to Adele's music that just sums up the human experience of longing --- it's a full album that sounds better at each listen. The full nuances and cadence of each line has a filling effect on those who wish that they are the ones holding the boomboxes and gets the girl/guy in the end.
All this without entering rom-com territory.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Digging and Sorting
Spent a good couple of hours going through my closet.
I found myself lost in multi-coloured tank tops, skirts with damaged zippers and a ton of miscellaneous clothing that I had to stop and wonder : Where the fuck did these come from?!
Arranged everything by colour, decided to refurbish a damaged denim skirt (it has a hole in a place where it's not cool to have a hole on) with a batik dress that had it's garter all stretched out, found a khaki skirt that might prove useful next week once the zippers been changed and resurrected a cowl necked blouse that i've never bothered to use. Typical.
Next week, shoes! I have a ton under my bed and fortunately they haven't escaped yet.
Found a dvd of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas --- oh well. Don't fuck with me right now man, I'm ahab!
I found myself lost in multi-coloured tank tops, skirts with damaged zippers and a ton of miscellaneous clothing that I had to stop and wonder : Where the fuck did these come from?!
Arranged everything by colour, decided to refurbish a damaged denim skirt (it has a hole in a place where it's not cool to have a hole on) with a batik dress that had it's garter all stretched out, found a khaki skirt that might prove useful next week once the zippers been changed and resurrected a cowl necked blouse that i've never bothered to use. Typical.
Next week, shoes! I have a ton under my bed and fortunately they haven't escaped yet.
Found a dvd of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas --- oh well. Don't fuck with me right now man, I'm ahab!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
You knrr, it takes gumption to say "I don't know" .
I'm riding the tidal wave of selective nostalgia right now. A few months ago when Rei was in Manila I had dinner with her and two other friends from college. Good god, college. I could barely remember college.
Outside : Oh golly! College! Kumbayah territory! OMG! What?! Go to Mass?! Again?!
Inside : I want to excel! I want to excel! I want to excel!
Outside : Party did you say?
Inside : I CAN wing it because I am sharper than a rapier... and lazier than a toad of valium.
Inside + Outside (Finally agreeing) = Fuck THAT. I want to work.
Exuent, stage left.
Past week I had a sort of reunion with some high school mates. I can't even say the word friends for the very reason that we haven't seen each other and my definition of friendship has matured beyond someone I shared a toke with. We were mostly strangers and slightly familiar and looking at them, I had to think...
What the heck did I do in high school?
I heard that it's supposed to be the best time in your life.
I think that the best period in your life is well, having a life regardless.
I'm riding the tidal wave of selective nostalgia right now. A few months ago when Rei was in Manila I had dinner with her and two other friends from college. Good god, college. I could barely remember college.
Outside : Oh golly! College! Kumbayah territory! OMG! What?! Go to Mass?! Again?!
Inside : I want to excel! I want to excel! I want to excel!
Outside : Party did you say?
Inside : I CAN wing it because I am sharper than a rapier... and lazier than a toad of valium.
Inside + Outside (Finally agreeing) = Fuck THAT. I want to work.
Exuent, stage left.
Past week I had a sort of reunion with some high school mates. I can't even say the word friends for the very reason that we haven't seen each other and my definition of friendship has matured beyond someone I shared a toke with. We were mostly strangers and slightly familiar and looking at them, I had to think...
What the heck did I do in high school?
I heard that it's supposed to be the best time in your life.
I think that the best period in your life is well, having a life regardless.
Tempt-ing
1. Career shifts can cause doubt.
I have been in the new company for the past almost six months and I am still at a point that I would have clear flashbacks of my former life.
Which just tells me several things:
1a. A part of me is still wallowing in regret over the stable, quiet , predictable life that I just threw away.
1b. I miss the blind adoration that comes along with being in a room full of people whose passing or failing depends on how well you teach.
1c. I have too much idle time in my hands hence the reason that my mind keeps on wandering around.
Went to a sort of high school reunion and I was shocked with how much things have changed. Some people's identities are rocks in my head wherein the smug satisfaction that I have been carrying around is just pointless. What do I have to be smug about? My life is not as peachy as I want it to be.
They are married (not a goal), with great jobs ( a sort of goal) and fabulous shoes (a dream not for the ent footed)
Who are these strangers?!
2. I have to stop sending my resume and not show up. That's just bad manners.
3. Listening to Adele's 21. It defies awesome.
4. Downloading Nicole Scherzingers Don't Hold Your Breathe and Jennifer Lopez's On The Floor. Torrent can't find J.Lo. Instead it will spout Spartacus, Airline Management and the like.
5. Watched an episode of this silly reality art competition. Some showed intense talent. The rest are just plain pretentious. Seriously? Performance art?
6. Nevermind, I'll find someone like you - Adele, Someone Like You.
7. Loving Auntie Janey's old fashioned Agony Column. Had a great laugh at the latest entry.
8. I find a mystifying sense of urgency at work --- finish the crap now so I can goof off immediately at StumbleUpon.
9. Imagining the floating hotel in Kerala. I still have the image of a blue room and white sheets.
10. Turning tables.
I have been in the new company for the past almost six months and I am still at a point that I would have clear flashbacks of my former life.
Which just tells me several things:
1a. A part of me is still wallowing in regret over the stable, quiet , predictable life that I just threw away.
1b. I miss the blind adoration that comes along with being in a room full of people whose passing or failing depends on how well you teach.
1c. I have too much idle time in my hands hence the reason that my mind keeps on wandering around.
Went to a sort of high school reunion and I was shocked with how much things have changed. Some people's identities are rocks in my head wherein the smug satisfaction that I have been carrying around is just pointless. What do I have to be smug about? My life is not as peachy as I want it to be.
They are married (not a goal), with great jobs ( a sort of goal) and fabulous shoes (a dream not for the ent footed)
Who are these strangers?!
2. I have to stop sending my resume and not show up. That's just bad manners.
3. Listening to Adele's 21. It defies awesome.
4. Downloading Nicole Scherzingers Don't Hold Your Breathe and Jennifer Lopez's On The Floor. Torrent can't find J.Lo. Instead it will spout Spartacus, Airline Management and the like.
5. Watched an episode of this silly reality art competition. Some showed intense talent. The rest are just plain pretentious. Seriously? Performance art?
6. Nevermind, I'll find someone like you - Adele, Someone Like You.
7. Loving Auntie Janey's old fashioned Agony Column. Had a great laugh at the latest entry.
8. I find a mystifying sense of urgency at work --- finish the crap now so I can goof off immediately at StumbleUpon.
9. Imagining the floating hotel in Kerala. I still have the image of a blue room and white sheets.
10. Turning tables.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Some run off things
It has been some time since I last posted.
1. Changed my job in the spirit of giving the red, white and black the one finger salute. Well hello there career misstep. Now I miss what I used to do. I think I wasn't that clear with my objectives. Slightly enjoying the day time hours though I am still battling with my insomnia.
2. Bought myself an iPod Nano which stores over 2500 songs and over a thousand pictures --- space permitting. Thank you Apple for encouraging people to bit torrent to their hard drives delight.
3. Said goodbye to V and nearly broke my heart. Now the bastard has yet to reply to a single email. I can be so pathetic.
4. Just sent out my resume to other prospects. No misstep can be corrected. Unless it's HIV. Remember that.
5. My fagbitch friend K is acting up. A tad cold. Must be because I keep on calling him fagbitch. But I do love him. It's just that he is gay and a bitch.
6. Exchanging texts with a well muscled gent that I call gymhead. His occasional jejenese text makes me want to correct him. No sense chasing this as I don't feel a spark of interest. Another score for being pathetic.
7. My new job is 80% idle time. Make me wish that I have sufficient resources to sign up for open university. At least instead of playing bejeweled, I will be pondering the complexities of either economics or political science.
8. Reading All The Trouble in the World by PJ O'Rourke.
9. Early morning (like 430AM ) commutes make me happy. There's something about an empty road that makes me want to smile.
10. Currently listening to Liszt, Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson, Suede and Drum&Bass.
1. Changed my job in the spirit of giving the red, white and black the one finger salute. Well hello there career misstep. Now I miss what I used to do. I think I wasn't that clear with my objectives. Slightly enjoying the day time hours though I am still battling with my insomnia.
2. Bought myself an iPod Nano which stores over 2500 songs and over a thousand pictures --- space permitting. Thank you Apple for encouraging people to bit torrent to their hard drives delight.
3. Said goodbye to V and nearly broke my heart. Now the bastard has yet to reply to a single email. I can be so pathetic.
4. Just sent out my resume to other prospects. No misstep can be corrected. Unless it's HIV. Remember that.
5. My fagbitch friend K is acting up. A tad cold. Must be because I keep on calling him fagbitch. But I do love him. It's just that he is gay and a bitch.
6. Exchanging texts with a well muscled gent that I call gymhead. His occasional jejenese text makes me want to correct him. No sense chasing this as I don't feel a spark of interest. Another score for being pathetic.
7. My new job is 80% idle time. Make me wish that I have sufficient resources to sign up for open university. At least instead of playing bejeweled, I will be pondering the complexities of either economics or political science.
8. Reading All The Trouble in the World by PJ O'Rourke.
9. Early morning (like 430AM ) commutes make me happy. There's something about an empty road that makes me want to smile.
10. Currently listening to Liszt, Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson, Suede and Drum&Bass.
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